I began thinking about willpower this morning. I have had two extreme tests of willpower over the last 24 hours. The challenges involved food and exercise, two nemeses for the willpower of many.
It all began yesterday on my first Nanaimo run. I was running a 5.4 km distance, which is very manageable for me. Unfortunately, it would seem that in Nanaimo it is only possible to run uphill.
Running uphill is an interesting metaphor for many of the challenges in life. It is so tempting and easy to give up, to take the path of least resistance. I knew that I was capable of keeping my pace, but oooh, to walk would be SO much easier. I walked up 2.5 of the six hills. It was really frustrating, because I knew I could do it, if I engaged my willpower, but I was unwilling this time.
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| Rutherford Rd.- It is steeper than it looks. Photo courtesy of google maps. |
The second test of my inner strength was resisting some very tasty peanut butter-banana-chocolate chip bars (a modified recipe from the Rebar: Modern Food Cookbook). I made these to use up some unwanted peanut butter. I did not intend to be the primary consumer of them. But unwilling willpower strikes again. I have eaten most of them. Big Problem!!
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| Rebar peanut butter bars. |
I modified the recipe, which you can find on the Eat Me, Delicious. blog. I made some healthy changes. I reduced the sugar to 1/4 cup of both brown and white sugar, and replaced the remaining sugar with a 1/2 cup of banana. I removed the butter from the recipe and replaced it with a 1/2 cup of banana. I replaced the milk chocolate chips with semi-sweet chips. I also used almond milk instead of heavy cream in the icing. Because my aunt has a chocolate allergy, I made a row without chocolate chips at all. My father prefers chocolate, so I made a row with chocolate icing for him.
So...not the WORST treat to binge on, I would not call them healthy either.
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| Look how many I have had! My theory is that if I cut them into small squares, I can just have a tiny bite. Problem: if they are small, you can justify eating more. |
The running and eating fails have prompted me to take action. I have been planning a willpowered month of August. I have a great deal to accomplish. This breakdown in discipline has inspired me to, at least, remember that I have this plan.
I am visiting family in Nanaimo, BC for the month. This is a great place to be, and to do many exciting things. I have very few real responsibilities so I have come up with a list of goals that will test my self-discipline.
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| Incriminating. There was a full 8x8 pan yesterday. |
The goals:
1. To begin a blog, and write a new post every day.
2. To run every day.
3. To do at least 1 outdoor activity every day.
4. To compile a cookbook of my Grandmother's "famous" recipes for each member of my family.
5. To get into healthy eating habits.
6. To knit a blanket.
This is a lofty list of goals, but it is manageable if I develop a strategy to meet them. Instead of dwelling in the negativity of an unmet goal, I will create a plan that focuses on expanding, rather than limiting myself.
Healthy eating, for example, needs to be a list of foods that I can enjoy, rather than what I can't enjoy. Goals need to be measurable so that I can mentally check-in to track my progress. So today I will do the run again. My goal is to walk up one less hill. I can do it. I can master my self-discipline little by little.
